


Dear Diary,

by chrlweasely



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Chimeras, F/F, F/M, Hellhounds, Kitsune, M/M, Multi, Phoenixes, Werecoyotes, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:15:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26087062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrlweasely/pseuds/chrlweasely
Summary: Every time Olivia Martin is unable to find the right words to express what she feels, she turns to her trusty diary. Writing gives her comfort (no matter how cheesy that sounds). That's where she jolts down her random midday thoughts while in school, to her deepest thoughts on how she is and what she thinks when they find themselves in the middle of a supernatural-related problem.And now, with the threat of the newly turned chimeras and the Dread Doctors looming in the corners, Olivia feels a lot more worry for her sister and friends than usual; probably because she starts to feel like they're pushing her aside because they thought of her as useless, more of a burden rather than a help.But she couldn't tell that to the pack, could she? And if she's being honest, she's pretty sure that writing these things down in her diary no longer feels like comfort...but luckily for her, the new guy in town is more than willing to listen to what she has to say.•••[Teen Wolf seasons 5a-5b][character x female!oc]
Relationships: Liam Dunbar & Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski, Liam Dunbar & The Pack, Liam Dunbar/Hayden Romero, Lydia Martin & Malia Tate, Lydia Martin & Malia Tate & Kira Yukimura, Lydia Martin & Original Female Character(s), Lydia Martin & Scott McCall, Lydia Martin & Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski & Malia Tate & Kira Yukimura, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski, Malia Tate & Kira Yukimura, Malia Tate & Original Character(s), Malia Tate & Original Female Character(s), Malia Tate/Original Female Character(s), Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Theo Raeken & Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall/Kira Yukimura, Stiles Stilinski & Malia Tate, Stiles Stilinski/Malia Tate, Theo Raeken & Malia Tate, Theo Raeken & Original Character(s), Theo Raeken & Original Female Character(s), Theo Raeken & Stiles Stilinski, Theo Raeken/Original Female Character(s), Tracy Stewart & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Introduction

_Dear diary,_

_The words inside my head's getting louder and louder; no, I’m not like Lydia, I’m not a banshee with the whispers and visions of death flashing before me, nor am I a werewolf like Scott and Isaac. I’m just...me. Me with an average IQ and ~~possesses unknown useless abilities~~ has no experience in fighting or whatsoever. ~~Most of the time~~ Sometimes I feel like a burden, an excess weight to my friends that serves no purpose but to hold them back and I absolutely hate it. I hate the feeling of being useless, of being a bother; I hate being someone who serves no other purpose other than to feel like an outsider looking in._

_I can’t distance myself from the pack because they’re all I have, but I also can’t stick around too often because being with them only makes me feel more left out. I know that I need to talk to someone —anyone...but them. Knowing them, they’ll try to understand and comfort me and do all the things they can to make me feel better, but that’s just it, they’ll only try to understand, but they can’t. All I’ll get is pity, and I can’t have them looking at me like I can break at any time with one single word._

_I want to open up to someone, that isn’t anyone from the pack, because if I carry all this baggage alone, I know that one day I’ll just snap. And I never want that to happen, so I’ll try to think. Mom? I tried, but I can’t risk her telling Lydia. Maybe Isaac? I used to, but he’s in France now and I can’t bother him with my problems when he’s probably got his own. And Brett? We’re friends, but not that close. Besides, he’s (somewhat) friends with Liam and he’s also loyal to Scott…_

_See? I’m well aware that I’m surrounded by numerous people who care about me, but I’m being too judgy picky. Maybe I’m just refusing to actually find solace because I’m used to feeling this down and anxious inside and the things I mentioned before were actually just excuses, or maybe this one is as well? I don’t know... I don’t even know where I’m going with this now. My mind’s all fuzzy with the thought of getting some sleep slowly starting to dominate my other thoughts._

_Goodbye for now, I guess. And remember to put on a smile :)._


	2. A Night To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Dear diary,_
> 
> _Today is Senior Scribe (Day? Night?) and I don't really know how I feel about it..._

_Dear diary,_

_I lost my previous journal on my last trip so Scott kindly gifted me a new one a few months ago (even though I told him not to), but I never really got the chance to write anything. (I forgot at what entry number I ended with the last one so I guess I'll go back to entry #1?)_

__

__

_Today is Senior Scribe (Day? Night?) and I don't really know how I feel about it. Back when I first heard about it, I remember looking forward to this small event before starting my senior year, but now? As I've mentioned, I'm not sure how I feel. With all the supernatural things that have been going on for the past couple of years, this feels...bland. But I guess I should try to enjoy this because I'm guessing that this is the most normal thing I'll get to experience, huh?_

From the entrance of the school, Olivia looked up only to see dark gray clouds filling the late-night sky covering the stars above, unabling anyone to catch even a single glimpse of the midnight sky. Flashes of lightning were visible from the distance before being accompanied by the sounds of the sky's grumbling, indicating that heavy rainfall was soon to follow. And this only made her more anxious than before. Her friends were supposed to be here half an hour ago, yet there was still no sign of them, which emitted a sigh from her.

The sound of the pouring rain hitting the pavements and roofs filled her ears; she watched her fellow very-soon-to-be seniors, who were still exposed outside, rush toward the entrance of the school for shelter. Rapid footsteps and sounds of laughter and giggles mixed with the rain, and Olivia dubbed this as a ruckus. She enjoyed watching rainfall, but her classmates' obnoxious noises bothered her so she didn't have much time to wallow in the cold and gloomy atmosphere the weather usually brings. Instead, she was easily brought back to the reality of her still missing friends...except for Lydia who was currently standing beside her doing the same thing as her.

Well, if they were running late even before the change of weather, it would guarantee that they'd even be later because of the rain.

"Where do you think they are?" Olivia asked anxiously, rubbing her two hands together before deciding to simply tuck them in her jacket pockets after failing to keep herself warm. Her eyes scanned the faces of the people rushing in hoping that she'd catch a glimpse of either Scott's, Stiles', Kira's, or Malia's familiar faces. But again, no one.

Lydia sighed before answering, "Hopefully in the jeep heading our direction." She grabbed Olivia's right hand and clasped her hand with Olivia's, pulling her inside the school. "It's pouring out here, we'll wait for them inside."

With a nod, Olivia followed Lydia inside. She held onto her hand tightly, still feeling anxious about the late attendance of her friends. Because honestly? She'd been waiting for this day ever since she heard about it a few years back; Olivia always dreamed about going to the senior scribe with her friends as they leave a mark of them behind the school for someone else to witness, and that was even before she had a group of friends. Before she had Scott, Stiles, Kira, and Malia.

Life as Lydia Martin's adoptive-sister used to revolve around, well, Lydia. They were both around the age of three or four when Olivia became part of the family, and they became inseparable ever since. They attended the same school, shared the same classes, shared a room and most of their clothes until the age of nine, and everything else. What's Lydia's is Olivia's and what's Olivia's is Lydia's, that was their life motto when they were still small children. And their mother absolutely loved and cherished the bond of her children. But of course, things started to change as they grew older. The inseparable tight-knit relationship they shared started to...falter.

The change took place in middle school, seventh grade to be exact, when Lydia spent more and more time with Jackson. The slow changes in her sister's attitude didn't sit well with her, she knew that they'd drift more apart one day, and she wasn't wrong. During their freshmen year, it was like they were never the closest people in each other's lives for eleven years because yes, people still saw them together but it was clear as day for those who's known them since they were little that their relationship with each other was no longer the same as before; the Lydia who was never afraid to show her intelligence and wit with anyone became the (somewhat) snobby, stereotypical popular girl while Olivia, who used to be a smiling and open girl became anxious and quiet, keeping to herself most of the time. But no one really bat an eyelash, change was, after all, to be expected with teenagers.

The only person she was close with for the majority of her childhood was her sister, and no matter how lame that sounded, it was her reality. But thinking about it now, Olivia swore that there was a guy she used to talk to from time to time. They weren't close enough to be best friends, but they were close enough to be more than acquaintances. She couldn't really remember who though, the only thing she can actually recall was that he moved away. That's it, so she didn't care much and didn't want to dwell on the missing sort-of friend thought...

And then they were pulled in the reality where the supernatural really existed and things changed, again. But this time Olivia considered it as a change for the better because she was actually able to mend her relationship with Lydia...oh, and she also gained some new friends along the way.

Yet despite the few positive impacts their situation had in her, the anxiety she developed before only worsened. At first, she only felt anxious about her social life; now, not only did she feel anxious about that but there's also the fear for their life on a daily basis. Yay Olivia!

As much as she enjoyed the thrill and excitement of knowing about the supernatural, she still hated it. Oh how much she sometimes wishes to have never been involved with the mess their lives had become. But she was, and she can do nothing else about it except to learn to live with it.

"Hey, don't worry too much, okay? I'm sure they're just running late because of the rain. And knowing Scott, he probably couldn't wait much longer and decided to pick Kira up himself." Lydia said reassuringly, her tone was soft which made Olivia feel lighter. It was times like these when she appreciated having Lydia as a sister; when she'd get too caught up with her racing thoughts as she slowly loses her focus on reality, she always had Lydia with her to pull her back and ground her, and she appreciated that. So, so much.

Lydia wasn't as open in using her very reassuring tone with the others as a sarcastic remark, that could sometimes rival Stiles', always follow her, but she knew the times when it wasn't appropriate. And her sister feeling anxious about their situation was definitely not the time for sarcasm.

"Why don't we look around for them? You've been staring out into nothing for more than five minutes now and being trapped in your thoughts for that long doesn't always end well. With anyone."

Olivia only nodded, thanking Lydia mentally for getting her to do something other than standing still while her thoughts flew everywhere. She followed beside the strawberry blonde, matching her pace, as they chatted about things they could, and should, expect in their last year of high school. Last year of high school, it was a bittersweet thought but she was looking forward to what the future holds. As corny (and terrifying) as that sounds, Olivia couldn't wait to experience the next few years. Will she be able to attend her chosen university and live life as a normal college student? Or will she still be involved with the supernatural in one way or another? It was a thrilling thought, but still terrifying nonetheless. Despite looking forward to her next adventure in life, the thought of college and being separated from the people she's grown so accustomed to for the past few years was enough to send shivers down her spine, and it was most definitely not in a good way.

After at least ten minutes of walking around the school and talking aimlessly about anything they could think of, Lydia finally caught a glimpse of the people she and Olivia'd been searching for just as they'd heard Malia say that she was officially a senior. Seeing the faces of their four other friends lifted the anxiousness that was slowly building up in Lydia, and eased the already existing one with Olivia.

"Thank God," Lydia dragged as she rushed toward them with Olivia hot on her trails.

"Where have you guys been?" Olivia asked, a relieved smile now on her face.

"The whole senior class is here and Olivia's been worried about you guys. You have no idea how much she's been reeking of anxiety, and I'm not even a werewolf!" This earned Lydia a slight shove from Olivia who was looking at her with an annoyed stare. Playful, but still annoyed.

Smiles immediately formed on the other's faces as they watched the two sibling's interaction, amusement replaced the once concern that they felt earlier. Lydia and Olivia were glad that they were already here; Scott, Stiles, Kira, and Malia were all just relieved that they were finally at school without any more trouble following them. For now at least.

"So..."

"Are we doing this or not?" Lydia finished for Olivia. The former eyed her four friends in front of her before breaking into a large smile when she saw the looks on their faces. When Lydia turned to look at the person beside her, she playfully rolled her eyes at Olivia when she saw the appalled look on her face. But before she could say anything else to Lydia, Stiles swung his right arm around her (while his left was on Malia's) and continued to drag the two girls to the direction of the library, with Scott, Kira, and Lydia behind them.

Olivia smiled at this and turned her head slightly to look at the other three, her smile widening even more when she watched the similar positions they were in; Scott's left arm hung around Kira's shoulder, while Kira's hand held onto Lydia's shoulder. There was nothing like seeing your friends intertwined together without any weird feeling signifying the strong bond they shared.

When she turned back to look upfront, she let the thought of ease consume her mind. At this moment, everything was alright and she should, for once, not worry about the future, even if it was just for a few hours. After all, she's felt anxious and scared for a consistent time now, it was time to give herself a little break from the worry.

×××

_'Finally'_ was Olivia's current thought as she watched the girl in front of Stiles hand him the marker. After the long minutes of waiting in the line to write their initials on the shelf, it was finally the group's turn. Because as much as she enjoyed the feeling of the moment, she also enjoys the thought of getting home and jumping on her bed to sleep, so the sigh of relief she let out was justifiable while she watched Lydia pass the marker to Kira, who looked excited but nervous.

"This isn't vandalism, is it?" Kira's tone was slightly agitated while asking. Lydia, who she asked the question to, looked at her, unsure as to how she was going to answer Kira's question. So instead, she answered with,

"Not...technically." Before following Stiles out of the line.

Olivia gave Kira a small grin when she handed her the marker before opening the cap and writing down her initials, _'O.M.'_. She looked at it for a microsecond before scanning the others. When she saw the rest, it felt like they were missing a few (that isn't Scott and Malia), and she knew who exactly those someone were. Beside her initials, Olivia wrote down the initials of her best friend, who was now living in a different continent. She felt satisfied when she saw the letters _'I.L'_ scribbled flawlessly beside hers because she knew that the distance between them couldn't ruin their cherished friendship even if it tried (plus, they've been calling and texting every given time they can to update each other on how life's been treating them).

When Olivia handed the marker to Malia, she caught Scott's eyes who gave her a smile, she returned the gesture with a smaller one before proceeding towards Lydia's direction and staying beside her as she caught up on what she, Stiles, and Kira were chatting about.

×××

The heavy weight Olivia's been feeling for the entire night disappeared the moment she plopped down the mattress of her bed face down; she exhaled. Her hope for having a good night's rest crumbled the moment she closed her eyes and felt the exhaustion (she complained about earlier) gone. Now her eyes were just tightly shut while her mind was racing at an unknown speed; she hated it.

It was rare for her to feel excited, and when she did, it doesn't go away easily. Every time she shut her eyes and attempted to drift to sleep, her mind would just easily slip to the giddy feeling she felt earlier, reminding her of the rare times she actually enjoys something that didn't involve winning against the supernatural.

Upon realizing that forcing herself to sleep was useless, Olivia sat up and grabbed the notebook she placed under her pillow along with a pen from her nightstand. She opened the diary and flipped a few pages (that was filled with doodles and a small letter from Scott) and read her first entry, cringing when she registered what she's just read. Honestly, there wasn't anything wrong with it, she just didn't like what she wrote, so she decided to write a new one.

Olivia slowly ripped the page from the journal before crumpling it and tossing the piece of paper to her trash bin. She held the pen with her right hand and started writing,

_Dear Diary,_

_Tonight wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it was actually better than most nights and I can confidently claim this as a night to be remembered (that didn't involve worrying about my life)._

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__

_Scott said that he had something to tell me tomorrow and I don't know what to think about that. Usually, when Scott does something like this, it meant that it was important. I think he already told Lydia earlier but I wasn't with them since I was with Stiles and Malia, so instead he promised to tell me tomorrow. His face looked worried and serious, as was Lydia's, and I didn't like that. Not one bit. So I'm sort of glad that I didn't have to hear it now because he just gave me the opportunity to savor the feeling of peace (or as peaceful as I could)..._

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_But am I really feeling peaceful though? Not one bit. I may be thankful but that didn't mean that the anxiety I buried earlier vanished, it actually skyrocketed. But I'm not going to tell him that, not to anyone._

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_So whatever that was he's planning on telling me, let's just hope that my reaction's just exaggerations and that I actually don't have anything to worry about..._

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_This was supposed to be an entry about how excited I'm feeling but I guess I wasn't really, huh? It was actually just me masking what I truly felt (this is sad). And reading this, I'm starting to like what I first wrote earlier rather than this, I had expectations._

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_This is worse._

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_I don't even know what I'm writing now. All I know is that I was excited earlier but the moment I started writing, that's when it disappeared. Like it didn't exist. And as I complained about not being able to sleep earlier, now all I can feel is my eyes drooping, so maybe that's why the end bit of this entry is starting to make no sense...or the whole entry for that matter._

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_Anyways, good night self. Remember to put on a smile :)._


End file.
